By Maurice Johnson

-Happiness is an inside job. –William Arthur Ward

 

            This is something that has been written about several times but it certainly resonates with me. It’s also something that I feel many people fail to realize because they put it on other people, places and things. People place the responsibility of happiness on their spouses, children, the squirrels in the yard, the car they drive, maybe even the pantry moths that they may have in their homes. (That’s just weird but I wouldn’t put that past anyone.) When the reality is that true, uninhibited happiness and joy is found closer than anyone may think. In fact, I found it to be so close that I can smell its scent after I teach a class or if it passes gas in my car in the summer. It’s within the man or woman in the mirror. It’s within me.

           

 

-In my lifetime

 

Throughout my life I recall instances where I set goals and intentions and would obsess over getting to those points only to find that I was again in search of something else that was shiny and new. In fact, I purchased a ridiculous white gold chain at one point just to have the biggest necklace on the block. A Fordham road special for $1300.00 and I pawned it for a small fraction of the cost. It didn’t make me happy. The Grand Cherokee limited that I had purchased by using my late grandmother as a cosigner didn’t make me happy. In fact, the decisions I made to get it and while having it led to more issues and yes, the total opposite of happiness. Like going from street clothes to an orange jumpsuit type of unhappiness. (What an adventure…. Hulk smash!) These are just two examples of how shiny and new things themselves didn’t make me happy. But I will say these things happening among other things did serve as lessons learned in my life and has been a contributing factor leading to this point today where I could talk about it with a fully opened spirit.

 

-Only you can make me happy…. Bullshit

 

In addition to things of course, came people and I’m kind of sorry (not really) Surface had it wrong when they made their song, Happy. (Only you can make me happy) Nah bruh.  I recall my years as a young teen and I wish of course I knew this back then because I would do things to make girls happy thinking that I would get my happiness too… You know what I mean by that… I would get the girl ya know, and then live off the rest of my days “Happily” ever after in a fairytale romance of sorts and then the credits will roll and stuff. I did things from reciting poetry to a girl in front of an audience on the first meet up of a blind date to giving a girl who I was settling for a rose for valentine’s day to even baking brownies and putting gummy worms in them. Oh there’s more but I won’t bore you with the details for the sake of making a point. In the attempts to please others to please myself, not only did I fail to achieve my objective and meet my expectations but I often found myself in debt emotionally and also financially. The whole idea of someone else completing or making me happy was a total lie in my case because, well it did not. Due to these lessons I’ve come to the point where if I’m going to do something for someone I’m going to do it because I simply want to do it to express my gratitude. With happiness coming from within me I can now give without the expectation of something in return. I can give of my time and energy or what ever skills I possess and just be joyful that it was appreciated.

 

-Earned it. You know your worth it

 

I also know that because of my own internal happiness that I am worth more than I made myself out to be in the past. Happiness and self-worth go together like cereal and milk after the cereal has left the bowl. More often than not when you have found your happiness from within you also begin to raise your standards because of course you want the best for yourself. In fact, you demand it so settling for anything less than what you deserve is not something that is possible for you anymore. The lack of internal happiness in the world today is everywhere around us. I believe that all conflict is caused by a lack of internal happiness along with various forms of domestication. #donmiguelruiz (life long training of traditions and behaviors) I personally believe that kindness is taught, which is awesome by the way. Hate is also taught as well as fear. Finding internal happiness is also a learned way of being that comes with a special understanding of life and the ability to let things go therefore finding lightness in the spirit despite the heaviness going on around everywhere. Happiness from within is a journey that is constant with the start being a choice as well as a teachable concept. However, one must be open to receiving the information and be willing to do what is required.

 

-The trinity

 

When it comes to this inside job of happiness, the work on the project began when I hit rock bottom with my personal trinity. My spirit was strained and broken. My mind was total shit and my body followed suit at the end and began to turn on me as well. I threw pity parties in my solace at times and other times I began to fight. In the darkest stages of building my internally powered happiness I remembered something that was very powerful. I had a choice. I had a reason. I therefore, had a shot at getting where I wanted to be. But first I had to come up with a plan of sorts of how to get there. (Important note, the inside job of happiness concept was not the original idea for me. It started out as a way to get to a place where I wasn’t in constant pain due to my damaged trinity.) The plan. The scheme. The plotting of the happiness caper. The… ok ok I’ll get to it now.

 

-Change at the microscopic level

 

Everything starts small and builds over time just like compound interest, oak trees, and babies. What I did first was simply decide and created a vision of being able to walk without terrible pain and even run if I wanted to. In my vision I saw myself teaching group fitness classes in a better way, being so lost in it that time just goes and feeling so good while doing it. I felt the joy, the passion, the creativity, the connection, the music and even the cueing of the movements going extremely well. I saw and felt the artistry of what I like to call the tour bus of greatness as I consider myself to simply be a tour guide. With this vision at first, I jumped into dealing with my knees through physical therapy and various forms of treatment such as chiropractor work and acupuncture and different types of massage as well. I would roll out my muscles until I was blue in the face yet it didn’t really work or set in. However, during one of my acupuncture sessions I started listening to my thoughts while lying still and unable to move due to the needles in me. It was then I recognized the noise in my head. When my days were positive the noise would be significantly less and the worry and anxiety would be reduced as well. When they were not then my thoughts raced and my mind was unsettled and the effects of the treatment was not as effective. The coolest part here was that I actually began to play the role of what is called, the witness. I got to watch and observe what I did and felt. From that I gathered information that led me to the next step.

 

-My mind’s playing tricks on me. Subconscious trapping with the use of the conscious mind.

 

I learned that the body has cues to respond and deal with stress. I also learned that stress is a signal of our perceptions and that it travels into our bodies. Do you have tight trap muscles or a sore low back? Maybe you have a headache on the side of your head? Or maybe you are tired even though you slept longer and went to bed earlier the night before? What about that cold you seemed to have gotten out of nowhere? These are some of the responses to constant unmanaged negative stress. The fight or flight response was activated in response to a person grabbing the last bottle of Gain Midnight Breeze laundry beads or to someone tapping their butt against your shoulder in a crowded restaurant. As silly as those things may seem they caused your body to go “old school” due to your perception of danger and discomfort. (Old school means primal BTW) Being that your body may be going “old school” on a regular basis, your body is always ready for action though no real survival action is required. Therefore, leading to the tensing up of your muscles and the constant elevating and suppression of the immune system response. Ok. What am I getting at here? Learning this information, I decided to go back in time and review all of the most painful memories and moments I’ve experienced in my life and understand that I am still alive today. Being that I’ve faced death several times along with other wonderfully traumatic events, I have plenty of areas to choose from to review. In doing this exercise, the memories became less shocking to me and I gave myself permission to accept them as they were. Just memories. I didn’t have to take them with me everywhere I went. I also didn’t have to be on Def-con 5 all the time either. I allowed them to simply be. As I did this, I noticed that my body started to relax more and I felt less pain. This in turn led to happier thoughts as I was able to feel a bit better.

 

-I hear the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep

 

The next thing I did was make changes to the information that was being allowed to enter my mind. I completely forgot I had a working T.V. (not really) I decided that I would only watch certain types of movies and I would absolutely not watch the news at all in my own house. Of course if you’re somewhere and there’s a T.V you may unfortunately run into the news being on anyway, but in the home one has control of that. T.V is designed to really stimulate the mind through audio and visual cues. Hence, why the fast food chains drop the fried chicken pieces in slow motion to really capture the texture of it so that it enhances one’s desire for it. (You know you like that. 😀) With the abundance of screens around us and the aforementioned effect that they have on your mind, there’s no wonder that there’s so much fear around. However, being that I decided to control what I put into my subconscious mind I used my computer and my phone to my advantage. As crazy as it may sound, the last thing you watch or hear before you doze off into your marshmallow dreamland has tremendous effects on your thoughts going into the next day. So, I decided that if I were watching an action movie or show at dinner the last image I want to see going sleep was something animated and funny. So I chose one of my favorite cartoon shows of all time now, Family Guy. I’m not 100% sure how true this is but I have felt quite a bit wittier since I’ve been exercising this routine. In addition to that I’ve felt much happier upon waking up in which I began the second part of my routine, saturating my mind with nothing but positive, uplifting, relaxing and inspiring messages. In fact, I wouldn’t even listen to regular music until after a certain time unless I’m preparing for a class. The reasoning for this is that I found myself vibrating at a higher frequency throughout the majority of the day. Actually all day!

 

-The spiritual fat boy thrives

 

After constantly feeding my mind and spirit with the equivalent of a lifetime supply of kale and spinach, I started doing every little thing differently once I identified the routines I had. If I drove one way to work for about a week or two, I’d simply change the route. If I habitually parked in one spot, I’d park in another spot just to give my mind a big F-you. I would put my lotion on in a different order and even bathe myself in a different pattern just to make everything change therefore, my subconscious mind began to adapt to changing all the time expecting something that will lead to ascension. I also began to watch my words. Though this is a bit difficult to do all the time I do it anyway and correct myself on the spot. I also remember this part better when giving others advice or when I speak positive words to everyone I come in contact with. The upside to this is that you come off as an awesome person and not an asshole or asshat (which ever one prefers) to others. I learned this from a talk given by one of my many favorite speakers, Les Brown. And you know what, the shit works! I haven’t been angry for a very long time and if you knew me for years you would know an angry Mo is not one that anyone wants to be around. Watching my words to myself has been extremely instrumental in discovering and cultivating my internal happiness.

 

-In the end

 

As I’ve put a few of these things into practice on a regular basis I found myself actually living out dreams of mine in the present moment. I found it less difficult to deal with hard situations and to cope with the devastating blows that I have suffered in my life enough to learn from them. I continue to practice these things and seek to learn new ways to do even better at living and I find myself manifesting so much by way of people and the ability to do what is needed to make my life the best its ever been. For me, my inside job of happiness is not about money or material things though I know I need certain things to follow through with my purpose and to maximize my gift. Its about being able to shake what may seem to be the unshakeable. Its about being able to forgive what is perceived to be the unforgivable. Its about to being able to love and live and honor this gift of life in every moment despite bliss or challenge. My happiness is my journey in every passing moment and understanding that there’s so much time to die yet not enough time to live. So I emphasize living and let the things that should die perish because after the next second it won’t matter and we can’t rewind time. We learn from the past to construct our present moments and step into the results of our future through the internal work. Therefore, William Arthur Ward said it best when he said, Happiness is an inside job.