Do you fear change? It’s ok, most (if not all) of us do on some level. It comes down to how our brains are wired and what we perceive as threats. Sometimes what is known is perceived as safe simply because it’s known, and the unknown is perceived as dangerous (at least to the ego) and therefore because it’s unknown it should stay that way.
Without getting into the psychology or neuroscience of it, and looking at it from the perspective of shared, common experiences, let’s talk about embracing change.
Change can be good. Change can lead to new experiences, new insights, and can take you to new places (mentally, physically, emotionally). Yet it's common to resist change.
So first ask yourself: Do I fear change? If the answer is yes, ask yourself: What is it really that I fear?
Now, ask yourself: Is there something in my life right now that I want to change? What is it? And what’s stopping you from making a change?
What if instead of just ripping the band-aid off in one shot, you could establish a better relationship with change? What if you could embrace change more broadly and start to train your mind that change can be good, it can even be great!
Here are some tips for you to use in your daily life to help you embrace change and prepare yourself to make some bold moves in the future:
Perspective shift. Observe nature. Whether you are in NY watching the leaves change or you are in Hawaii watching the winter swells come in, observe the seasonal changes that take place around you. The lesson is that everything changes. The amount of sunlight we experience each day changes, the weather changes, the fullness of the moon changes. It’s ever-evolving and the beautiful thing about nature is that it doesn’t resist. Change is inherent to it and part of it. Nothing can stop nature and nature doesn’t try to stop itself.
Ground yourself with a routine. It’s helpful to keep certain constants amidst the ever-changing world around you. This way, when significant changes do come your way, you don’t feel completely uprooted. You will have some sort of routine to ground you and help return you to the center. This can help you feel balanced, rooted, stable, and make the idea of change a little less scary.
Add variety. Just like you can intentionally make some things routine, you can also add variety. This is important to avoid either going into mindless auto-pilot or getting stuck in a total habit loop. Both will make you more and more comfortable with what is known and make you more likely to resist change. Adding variety to your routine can look like: taking a different route to work, listening to different music or a different podcast during a workout or a drive, walking or hiking in a new park or trail. So common things are different. It’s quite refreshing.
Pause. Observe. Reflect. You can do this on a daily basis and/or when confronted with change. Take a moment. Take a few breaths. Pause. Observe your breath. Observe how you feel. And then reflect on it. Contemplate it or journal it. It’s easy to get caught in the busyness of the day. Take a mindful moment and pull yourself back to center. It will help to rest your mind and help you see things through a different lens. And with that different lens, you may be more open and receptive to exploring something new.
Take action. When an opportunity comes up to try something new - do it. And do it before you can take too long to think about it, because that’s where you will talk yourself out of it. Go for it!
Know that everything is temporary anyway. If you can take a step out of the day to day and look at the big picture of life you can see that it’s all temporary. Going back to the nature exercise above- look around you. Leaves change color, die, and fall to the ground, only to blossom again in the Spring. The moment you just had is fleeting. The breath you take now is different from the next breath. Everything in our human experience is temporary. In realizing that everything is temporary it may take some of the pressure of out making a decision around change. Not sure about moving? It’s temporary- you can move again. Not sure about a job? It’s temporary- you can change jobs. In the big picture of life, it’s all impermanent.
Do new things. You are braver, smarter, stronger, and more capable than you think. And doing new things, doing things that scare you, doing things that are different than what you have done before, helps show you how brave, smart, strong, and capable you really are. Then, when faced with a bigger change down the road, you have the confidence to handle it. Why? Because you have built your confidence up over time by trying new things often.
Biff in Back to the Future would say, “make like a tree and get outta here.” Almost, Biff, but not quite. Let’s try this instead: make like a tree and embrace change.